America as a Teenager

In a world full of "adult" countries, however bipolar (United Kingdom), corrupt (North Korea), and miserly (Switzerland) they may be, there is one that stands out as being the common teenager - The United States of America. The US behaves as though it were an uncontrollable teen boy who entertains no notion of the existence of a frontal lobe, that underdeveloped part which is crucial in weighing decisions and their consequences. The hormonal problems and consistent rebellious nature of the teen is apparent in his decision-making which is characterized by bad choices, speaking without thinking, ineptitude stemming from a lack of discipline and a spoiled nature, and, overall, his unholy ego. If one were to have replaced the previous sentence's "teen" with "USA", it can most accurately be read the same and remain just as profound and sublime. Constant fighting, violence when forced to comply with others, and otherwise isolationist tendencies, preferring to be locked in his messy room instead of cleaning up and opening the door, seem to also shape what this teen [country] has become, of which the parents are not proud. His ego leads him to believe that he is capable of anything, needs no one else, and charges on whatever whim the next tram shuttles him to. His dabbling in drugs ("business" practices of Enron, Adelphia, etc.), backward practices such as the breaking of promises to his parents (the Patriot Act), and general feel that he is capable of anything by himself (the No Child Left Behind Act) engender this rage-driven entity named America. Unlike other child countries, America was born of a womb of malcontent and slaughter of thousands of indigenous peoples into a family of uncaring and irresponsible parenting, was raised on a milk formula accurately titled "Hypocrisy", and was continually suppressed into accepting the occupation title of "Head Fry-Wench" until he grew up to become a mass murderer out of cloudy hallucinogenic reasoning, refusing to apologize for known mistakes, and slowly killing himself in his old age through his old habits.