Chocolate-Covered Espresso Beans and the 1.5lb Burrito

Today, I have begun seriously contemplating the publication of my works...the first of which I believe will be titled: Zaevodnik - The Unorthodox Blogs and Compilation of Personal Esoteric Philosophies. I'm thinking it will be a winner. The name would be enough for me to, upon seeing such a title, inhale deeply and swiftly make a hand-grab pass at it to read the back cover's description. I'm not decided yet, at all, upon the outside cover - I imagine something simple, yet interesting, yet intriguing running in tandem? Maybe a stylized, large, bold, "Zaevodnik" with the rest in a contrasting font centered at the bottom, smaller. It will be fascinating if this actually comes to fruition, as this actual posting will be included...basically a living representation of the root thought. About the title: today, I bought (with my Starbucks card) several items, of which included chocolate-covered espresso beans. My dinner at Qdoba consisted of, no shit, a burrito that had to have weighed more than one pound...now, to say 1.5lbs existed on that tray is a little too specific for me to back up, so I'll just say it was quite...mammoth, to say the very least. The internal components existed as follows - chicken, cilantro rice, fajita vegetables (seared bell peppers and onions), pico de gallo, ranchero hot salsa, roasted corn salsa, sour cream, and few hefty dollops of guacamole <=the foil that the...uhh...burrito-maker-man attempted to wrap around this specimen went approximatley 4/5 the way around, leaving a square of flour tortilla exposed at the bottom. Eating this kindergartner-sized burrito was a mandatory two-hand ritual. I [seriously] asked my mom to open my Coca Cola for me, for fear that if I were to lay the burrito down, I would not be able to pick it back up without the insides gushing out onto the tray in a conglomerate of Mexican base ingredients. She happily obliged with a curt laugh, smile, and a short "sure". The weather must be stopped. Satan must periodically be passing gallstones for we have, in a 24-hour period, experienced all four seasons. I awoke to semi-cloudy skies. They cleared. My grandmother phoned to tell us to expect snow later. Approximately fifteen minutes later, sure enough, it was snowing...but not just snowing, it was more like a hell-blizzard infused with hatred and sin constantly ingrained with hell-force gusts against the windows sending them whistling, scaring the shit out of the dog. Another ten minutes, the sky was PURE BLUE AGAIN!...now, I think I have seen many strange and interesting things concerning weather patterns, but I wasn't at all expecting that which came next: fifty-degree temperatures. Okay...from snow to 50 is a little ridic, no? I thought this would be the end, because a fair and just God wouldn't allowed much more of this rampant shit to go on, would he? Well, he did, and it snowed again; raging 20-degree winds made anorexics float above the ground like pebbles skipping over that old pond in Fairview Park...funny, really. After a long battle with a serious continuum of seclusion and the final losing of all hope of a more open air to my city and then a re-affirmation in the true belief that "all things to those who wait", things are starting to fall into place. The first indication of said change occured when my father offered to purchase the equipment for satellite internet. This was extremely unexpected because a. he's tight and b. he's tight. I actually was in such disbelief that I wrote it off as a fluke action that only happened in a parallel universe that happened to strike my subconscious mind, persuading me to believe that which was impossible. I waited a few days and asked if he was serious - he was. HA! Such paradoxes could cause cardiac arrest if continued consecutively...however, a second event happened, HOWEVER, only after three years of willing it into being. After I sent not one but TWO e-mails suggesting the following action to the company, Starbucks is installing a cafe in Williamsport [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. OMFG. Now, this HAD to be a slip-up on a demons part, for NO fair and just God would lead his child to believe such things, especially when they concern a heaven-sent Starbucks Cafe in one's hometown. I chose, also, to disbelive this until further confirmation. I had first been notified of the action by my AP European History teacher, Miss George, a real Starbucks fanatic whose veins course with chai tea latte and espresso. Three days later, Heather Westlake commented me on MySpace with a charged paragraph titled "STARBUCKS IS COMING TO WILLIAMSPORT!". This too, I disbelieved, for the purpose of less further disappointment as has been the case with several other things, namely broadband internet [strains out several inaudible expletives]...it's a long story that I no longer have the mental strength to elaborate on such a burdenous-bastard-child of technological bottlenecking at its finest. Anyway, I waited until I saw the news story in writing on the Williamsport Sun-Gazette's website. Let's just say I'm satisfied.