On My Humor

It's a shame that I haven't talked more of my particular brand of humor, especially as it is one of my defining features. It ranges from the simple and happy-go-lucky traditional joking to the deeper, more intellectual art of sarcastic jabs, cynical projections, blogging from a satirist viewpoint, and being that exclusively raunchy pervert-type that everyone is attracted to for some odd and unexplainable reason that perplexes even me.

I must say, however, that I am not a pervert at heart. Anyone who knows me may find this a tad offset and even "untrue", but I can explain it this way - I take joy in making people laugh, and people laugh at dirty tasteless jokes. The sheer "shock factor" sometimes is enough to send someone reeling in laughter, and I delight in that; This laughter takes my very core and shines it with a gold dust and buffs it to a glistening finish. If people found "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes equally as amusing, I would tell them more than make a reference to my penis, their pet goat, or their mother. Anyone who claims to not be amused by such things is either (a.) a liar, or (b.) a mormon.

More than being a pervert, I take much more pride in my keen ability to be sarcastic when appropriate and/or opportune - I enjoy not only exercising my human right of freedom of expression, but also craftily insulting and astounding those who get in my way or insult me. This ability, though, is very sporadic, and tends to be heightened naturally when I am in a taciturn mood, and also (more strangely) late at night, especially in hotel rooms, especially at FBLA conferences, especially when calling girls across the hallway.

I practice satire to be a good American citizen - constructive criticism takes a turn with me, though, as I prefer the Jonathan Swift-ian absurdity to simply pointing out mistakes and will go to great ends to elaborate my point through much extrapolation and a spoken fluidity characterized by a dextrous vocabulary and, most importantly, the willingness to do so.

Many people like to say "I think, therefore I am.", I say "I shit, therefore I am.", especially as defecation is one of the characteristics of life - thinking is not. Now, you have experienced my humor.d