Plus!

Perhaps some of you nice people could click there ^ and download MSN Plus! so I can maybe win a PSP or even an Alienware Laptop?? If you do download it, I'd like to say one thing. It is free an is not a joke and is a very good long-standing program that allows you to do a hell of a lot more with MSN than you thought you could ever do. When you install it, though, when you get to the page that looks like one of those "yes, I accept, now install the fukin' program" screens, read the two selections closely. They both say you accept to install, but one asks you to install additional third-party programs which I think you won't want, so just select the "I don't want the extras" (or something like that option). Thanks!

Satanic Napkins

One might be thinking that a jigsaw could be exponentially more dangerous than a paper towel, but you'd be fukin' wrong to think so. I've used a band saw. I've used paper towels. Guess which one ripped the skin off my lip...I can guarentee you it wasn't the saw! I came into the living room nearly stumbling into a nice yellow glob of dog barf. I returned to the kitchen to grab a few paper towels to rid the carpet of its lovely new decor, quite thank you, when I took one of the two and suspended it from my lip through the absorbancy of the saliva into the Bounty napkin. After using the first one, I proceeded to try to utilize the second one pasted to my lip. Mind you, I hadn't closed my mouth after placing it on my lip, so my lips were fairly dry from breathing over top of each. I slowly started to tug the paper towel...I felt a gentle stinging sensation and continued, figuring it was just the removal proccess. I loosened my lip muscles allowing the napkin to pull my lip until it was fully extended, feeling like I was in some dentists office getting checked for gingivitis. Finally, after a little sweat breaking loose from my hairline, it came off. The central sector belonging to my bottom lip felt inflammed and angry. I felt it with my tongue...smooth texture compared to a normal lip. I came to the conclusion that the skin had been ripped forth and also that I never make this mistake again. Bounty Paper Towels certainly took its bounty. Thank God they weren't Brawny brand...now that crazed hick would have taken the whole fukin' lip.

Dollar Bazaar

Today, I was in the Dollar Bazaar with my mom when, over the store radio tuned to 102.7 KISS FM, Gail and Garry started to talk about George Bush and what he may have on his iPod. A real good impressionist of Bush came on and talked about it. "Well, first of all, I love Michael Jackson. I'm a big fan. I do the moonwalk everyday. I have a Michael Jackson jumpsuit."...and so on and so forth, etcetera, etcetera. Next, they cracked some cute jokes...among them was my favorite: Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made of plastic, and hazardous to little children. The other is used to carry groceries. ^^Most def a good one. Last week it was 83 degrees. Today it is snowing. Today, it's 31 degrees. Today is April 24th. This is Pennsylvania. Am I setting the same kind of fucked up picture for you that I am experiencing, because I sure hope so. Interesting to know...Maine is approximately 13 hours north of here, yet it is thirty degrees warmer today. I believe we are in the end times, god-responsible or not.